Fuck Xmas!

--Every year my Xmas is worse than the one before.I always try to forget but the bad feelings remains like a bad taste on the tongue.This year I'm alone in London.Yes,LONDON but...no Xmas' tree,no great meals,no family or friends & no gifts.I didn't want to open my eyes today.I tried...I would to wake up tomorrow & don't have any memories of Xmas' day but I woke up.A bad day.The worst.I wonder how the other people lived this day.Maybe in the same way I dreamt to live it for many years.With joy & with the people I love in a hot atmosphere with food & all the other stuff & things.I never had all these things.I always suffered this lack.I feel bad that I didn't call my family.I should do that but I didn't.I felt sad.I put the blanket on my head.I tried to stop to think.Turn all off.I think to all the people that hate the great parent reunion meals or the decorations or the wrong & not perosnal gifts.What I could give to have all of these things?In exchange I could give my solitary meal with frozen 4 formaggi pizza & my Guinness.I'm scared to think to next year's Xmas.Maybe I will be under a bridge without anything.It could be looking to how bad are going my Xmas' days in these last years.Fortunately there was Doctor Who that cheered me up.Doctor Who-Last Christmas+Doctor Who-The time of the Doctor+Doctor Who-An adventure in space & time (thanx to M. & to the Rai4 streaming from Italy ♥).I really needed something that helps me to stop to think to my situation.Sorry Reedus.I should watch Moscow Chill today & search a photo for you but I didn't :( I'm feeling I'm super late & that I've not time.Tomorrow will be better.Maybe...no expectations.