One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell

--A mix of feelings today.Some of them I just couldn't control them.Sadness when I took
all my things by M.'s room.Like I knew I will never see her again.Emptiness.Like I was leaving forever that place & a part of me in it.After all this months there I began to love it.I guess I could feel like this if I had to leave UK.Probably worse...I think it was just a taste of the sadness I could feel.Pack all the things you have gives to you exactly the idea about what do you have,what you flet behind & what you don't need anymore.Say goodbye is always hard.Even it is more like a bye bye.You don't know what could happen tomorrow.Heavy suitcases full of stuff & things under a gry sky.A great joy when I realize I was going Home.A place that was really mine.A place just for me.I almost cried when I realized it.I would to smile to everybody & say loud "I live here!" but the english man inside me said NOU.My new little,white & empty room. A new beginning.The stability is here.For some weeks.We'll see.But for now where happy.A job,a room.Almost a bank account.We are almost 100%.Finally.I just need some clothes or Winter will kill me.Last night I almost vomitd my lungs.So painful.This morning I was a background actress of Walking Dead.First grocery shopping for the new room.Tomatoes,peanut butter,olive oil,bread,candies against cough,biscuits & tangerines.Now I need a blanket & detergent for clothes.Big troubles with skype.Why I don't have an Ipad or an Iphone or justa a new computer?Uff.Technology will kill me.First super hot shower in the new place.I really needed it.I washed all bad things away (without my sponge beacuse I forgot it.I MUST forgot something.I knew that...).A little sadness while I eat my late first dinner in the new place.I ate alone in my room.The last supper in the M.'s place was rice with vegetables.Alone but M. was there.I could talk to her.I probably have to get used to not have her to talk with.Here I eat pasta with tomatoes & Camembert.No more fish for me at home.It isn't allowed in this house.I'll miss my hot salmon+cheese with pepper & butter sandwich.I watch first episode of Black Mirror.It was a weird story.Tomorrow M.'s returns in Italy for Xmas.Sigh.She will bring me the old All Star she brought me by China.Yeah!Tomorrow work+bank.Pray for me.I need to sleep.