"Should I?"

--Yesterday was the day of the "Should I?".There was so many things I would to do but that I didn't.Probably because I'm a coward.God hates cowards.I spend the night thinking about what I should do.The different scenarios... the different reactions.Maybe I could gain something good by these unrational actions or probably I could ruin EVERYTHING.I will never know.In the same time my racional mind put myself to research of a new photo for a new artwork.Even my racional mind understands that I NEED an escape from all this shit.The job,the shitty weather,the loneliness,the bank account problems & the fucking money.It is always hard to find something that makes me jump.Even if is Him.I made my choice.I miss the window.The animal inside of me wants to sleep for the winter but I can't.I eat 2 biscuits for breakfast.I remembered to throw away the mouldy tea.If I think to the horrible taste it had I could barf!I need 2 A3 for 2 photos in black & white.I go out the store with 3+4 wrong size photos of both the photos,2 in right size & 1 blank A3 paper that I don't know if I can use.I laughed.So,it's true that Reedus makes people stupid!I'm so hungry so I go to buy a bagel with salmon & cheese.I talk to Otto (yes,like the number) about italian old movie until my bagel is hot.I really needed it!The mission of "FIND A NORMAL A3 BLANK PAPER" is failed.I'm angry.But I bought a super expensive drying rack!I'm finally ready for the first laundry in the new home!It's so cold.I guess I have to buy a pair of gloves.I go to Tesco & I buy a lot of stuff & things.Eggs,camembert,mushrooms,candies,peanut butter,biscuits,apple juice,frozen chips,pasta & veg stuffs.I fail the mission of the 10£.Nobody obviously helps.So cold!!After laundry my room seems smaller but more scented.A new entry on my empty wall.Welcome!I LOVEIT!Technology problems.Fuck!I'm angry again.I'm frustratd!Nothing works as it should!The Veg Bacon is not the same!IS NOT THE FUCKING SAME!I watch Enemy with Jake Gyllehaal & at the end of the movie I felt like a super idiot.Tomorrow I MUST begin to draw.I'm already late!Tomorrow work...