The sound of Hope

A thing that I'm learning is that I shouldn't put too much hopes in the future.Yes,I have to hope in something good or in something in general but not too much because when something goes wrong it hurts because I hoped that something could change.There is a proverb or something like more you hopre & more you go high than it is more painful the fall.I can't remember where I heard that thing but it is pretty real.Unfortunately because hope should bring only positive things.Now,after the hard work of yesterday where my hopes has to take me up,something moves but... how I should feel?I should feel happy?I should feel nervous?I should feel grateful?I don't know.I just know I have to try to be enough distant to not feel bad if I screw up everything.The contact with the things is always bad.In the past I hoped so much...I fought so much but.. for what?What I've got?Everytime I stop to think about it I feel bad.Sorry.

This morning was tough to leave the bed but I did.I don't know how but I did.I ate the same old soup with mushrooms & I returned to search.I didn't go out.I didn't feel the air.I hope lil' Daryl is fine.Search & Try & Eat.Search & Try & Hope for something better.Eat for not feel the empty & Survive.I'm still thinking of the TWD's episode I saw yesterday.I was pretty cool.One of the best.A part of my mind loves to travel when I'm sending CVs.Just to not feel the weight of what I'm doing.Tea in the TARDIS.Two bags.M. is back from work.Finally we make a dinner together.I want to talk...I want to celebrate.But we just eat & chat.Noodles with different kind of beans & cheese.For break the cicle of the same old mushrooms soup.Dessert.The sound of the rain outside.I hope that tomorrow will be a sunny day.2 broke girls.Almost like us.First part of Olive  Kitteridge.It made me cry.The good things die fast.Tears.Sometimes I take it too personal.I finish my tea.I'm worried.